Shhh..

I'm not sure why, but I am totally embarrassed to write about this topic. However, I am being bullied into it, so here it is. I'm going to let you in on where the term "having shoe" is from. In my family, as in alot of families, we weren't allowed to swear or use "offensive language". (My mom thinks shut up and stupid are swear words.) I don't know if I have ever heard my dad cuss a day in his life. And I know my mom doesn't swear because she just doesn't know any of those words. Anyways.

I still remember this from when I was a kid. When we talked about "having shoe", it meant sex. In most cases, it meant animals mating. *cough* So instead of saying "Those dogs are totally doing it in our front yard!" we would say "Those dogs are having shoe!" Everyone in my famiy used this term, including my parents. Anything else was just too dirty, I guess. I don't know who came up with the term, probably my dad, but I for as long as I can remember that's what we would say. It's funny, because even saying "shoe" or "having shoe" was taboo. I still hear it to this day and think to myself "Shh! Don't say that so loud, someone might hear you!" Maybe I should call this post "My Miseducation - Part 2." :P

I remember the first time I said "shit". It was in elemetary school, and someone had graffitied it in the back. It was during recess and these girls asked me what it said. Since my upbringing was so innocent, I had no idea what it was or what it meant. So I read it outloud, and they started giggling. Then one of them asked if I had been baptized. Haha, what the crap. I also learned the word "damn" from the Simpsons. I remember that I was sitting in the kitchen, and I looked out the window and it had started snowing. So I said "DAMN, it's snowing!" really loud, and my dad totally freaked out. "Where did you hear that? Don't even say that again!" Etc. etc.

Have you seen Hocus Pocus? You remember the part where Max and his little sister go to that girl's house, the girl that the guy has a crush on? I think her name was Alison. Well, there is a big pot of candy in the front room. They are standing at it and his little sister says something about the Alison's "yabbos" and how much Max likes them. I remember watching this movie with my dad, and just to see what he would say, I asked him what yabbos were. He said "I think it's candy." Haha. I'm laughing as I am writing this.

I asked my dad once what it meant when someone flipped you off. I still remember exactly what he said. "It means you will have shoe with someone you don't like." Maybe he's right and we're the ones that are wrong.

My Mis-Education

For as long as I can remember, there have been certain words that we have used in my family. These words have always been normal to me. If I were to say one of these words to someone in my family, they would know exactly what I was talking about. But since I've used some of these words to people outside of my family, I've been made fun of by the way I say them! The first and biggest example is the word "hair blower". You might call it a hair dryer or a blow dryer, but in my family it has always been called a hair blower. And trust me, I've been teased about this and I'll probably never hear the end of it. I think Bonny was the first person that pointed out to me that "hair blower" isn't a real word.. that may be true, (and is, I think..) it's a hair dryer to you - but it's always a hair blower to me. :)

Here is another example. I first heard the term "chest of drawers" a few months ago - like, heard it for the first time in my life! I seriously had no idea that's what these things were called. In my family, we have always called them "chester drawers". My dad says it, my mom says it, and I'm pretty sure that my sister says it. It's just weird calling it a chest of drawers - that isn't what it is! It's a chester drawers! Boy, have I been poorly mislead. The person to point this out to me was Mike. I was telling him about my chester drawers, and he was like, "What are you talking about?" Anyways, we googled both words, and I learned the error of my ways. And I was totally embarrassed.

This is one that I thought of just the other day. These are tennis shoes, right? Not in my family! We have always called these "tenner shoes". I don't even know what else to say. I know now that they aren't tenner shoes, but if you used that word in my family, they would know exactly what you were talking about.

If you used any of those words in my family, we would all know what you were talking about. But when I say it to anyone else, they don't have a clue. And then I get made fun of! I just can't believe that for most of my life, I thought that's what these things were really called. Oh well. I don't care if these words aren't real, I'm still going to use some of them. And I'm sure I could think of more if I were to really think about it.

Me in one word.

One word... that's all you can write as your answer... can you do it???

You
Can
Only
Type
One
Word

1. Where is your cell phone? Purse
2. Your significant other? Here
3. Your hair? Up!
4. Your mother? Temper
5. Your father? Friend
6. Your favorite thing? Naps
7. Your dream last night? Strange
8. Your favorite drink? Water
9. Your dream/goal? Family
10. The room you're in? Work
11. Your ex? Married
12. Your fear? Loneliness
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy
14. Where were you last night? Home
15. What you're not? Fake
16. Muffins? Poppyseed
17. One of your wish list items? Bike
18. Where you grew up? Happy
20. What are you wearing? Jeans
21. Your TV? 19"
22. Your pets? Kitty
23. Your computer? Annoying
24. Your life? Potential
25. Your mood? Hungry
26. Missing someone? Grandma
27. Your car? Convertible
28. Something you're not wearing? Wings
29. Favorite Store? Walm
30. Your summer? Busy
31. Like someone? Yes
32. Your favorite color? Blue
33. Last time you laughed? Tonight
34. Last time you cried? Recently
35. Who will repost this? Bonny
36. Who will not repost this? Manda

This is harder than it looks. :P